Date it until you find the right fit for you!

And I wholeheartedly mean this. Whether it's your college advisor, dentist, doctor, therapist, medication... you keep searching for what works. "If it don't fit, you must acquit." HOWEVER -- you keep moving forward. Even when you're in pain and it discourages the hell out of you. Staying where you are gets you where? THE SAME PLACE. That place may be absolutely no where, or even rock bottom. What do people say? "If you do the same thing expecting different results, that is the definition of insanity."

In order to become the best version of "you", you must make adjustments all the time to accommodate to the person that you're becoming. As someone who had a late diagnosis for ADHD, I had to try out systems over, and over, and over again until I figured out what worked. Sometimes what works today doesn't work tomorrow - and that's perfectly okay. Tomorrow will have its own troubles and worries. Today, what I can do is teach you different ways that people learn, but we must start with the concept of executive functioning.

Often times when a person has ADHD, bipolar disorder, or other mental health problems -- they have executive functioning issues that make life more challenging. Executive functioning is like your brain's hardware system which develops the cognitive processing that allows higher orders of thinking. Executive functioning skills include the following:

1. Working Memory🗂️: The ability to hold and use information in your mind.

→ Example:Remembering instructions while completing a task, or keeping track of what you need from the store without writing it down.

2. Task Initiation🚀: The ability to start tasks without procrastination or avoidance

→ Example:Being able to begin cleaning your room or starting a project, even when you don’t “feel” like it.

3. Organization📁: The skill of keeping track of things physically and mentally.

→ Example:Knowing where your belongings are, maintaining an organized workspace, or structuring your thoughts clearly.

4. Planning & Prioritizing🗓️: The ability to set goals, plan steps, and decide what’s most important.

→ Example:Breaking down a big assignment into smaller tasks and tackling them in a logical order.

5. Time Management⏰: Understanding how long things take and using time effectively.

→ Example:Estimating how long your morning routine will take so you’re not late.

6. Emotional Regulation💖 :Managing emotions so they don’t control your actions.

→ Example:Calming yourself down after frustration instead of reacting impulsively.

7. Impulse Control🛑: The ability to pause before acting.

→ Example:Thinking before you speak or resist checking your phone during work

8. Cognitive Flexibility🔄: Being able to adapt to changes and shift your perspective.

→ Example:Adjusting your plans when something unexpected happens, or being open to new ideas.

When people struggle with executive dysfunction, it may show as procrastination, forgetfulness, losing track of time, trouble finishing tasks, feeling easily distracted or overwhelmed, and impulsivity. You can support these in many ways, but the most effective way could be entirely dependent on what type of learner you are.

Above, this graphic shows 9 different ways an individual could learn and other names they could. Here's a breakdown:

1. Auditory / Aural / Musical 🎧: You learn best through sound, rhythm, and repetition. You might remember songs easily or prefer podcasts and discussions over reading.

2. Visual / Spatial 👁️: You learn through images, colors, and spatial understanding. Charts, diagrams, mind maps, and color-coded notes are your best friends.

3. Kinesthetic / Physical 👐: You need movement and hands-on activities. You learn by doing, building, touching, or physically engaging with your environment.

4. Reflective 💭: You process information deeply and learn best through introspection, journaling, or taking quiet time to think things through.

5. Social / Interpersonal 🗣️: You thrive in group settings — learning through discussion, collaboration, and connection with others.

6. Logical / Mathematical 🔢: You prefer reasoning, systems, and structure. Patterns, numbers, and problem-solving are your strengths.

7. Digital 💻: You learn effectively using technology — through videos, interactive tools, and online learning environments.

8. Independent / Solitary 🌙: You prefer learning alone, reflecting, and setting your own pace. You enjoy independence and self-directed study.

9. Verbal / Linguistic ✍️: You express and retain information best through words — reading, writing, and storytelling help you understand new concepts.

Both concepts are fundamental for you to understand when gathering information about what works best for you to function on a regular basis. This is what I mean by you need to date everything. A date is a social or romantic appointment or engagement. When I say date, I really mean date. Take the time out of your life to romanticize it just a little more so that you can find a way to gently come back to yourself. For example, are you having a hard time bathing / showering but you’re also a very kinesthetic person? You can make a bath time meaningful by having ambient lighting, a candle, and some good music or an audiobook playing. Are you having a tough time getting up to eat and you’re a visual learner? Pick out a favorite type of tea and mug that you can use to make the mornings a tad bit happier.

Healing is not linear. Some days your ability to function may be less than other days. On those days, you can accommodate to your needs. You’re allowed to be comfortable while also challenging yourself to be better and do better. You can do this one step at a time, through many ways that fit you and your persona. Start off by examining where you are struggling. After, come up with a plan to better these areas that actually cater to your learning styles.

I am a visual / verbal learner. I prefer methods of study that allow me to see AND hear things. This means that when I am studying, I prefer audiobooks instead of hard cover textbooks. This also means I prefer videos with closed captioning as well as text to voice apps that read along with me. When I organize objects in my environment, I have to use clear or see through bins so things don’t become “out of sight, out of mind.” A lot of my reminders / calendars and agendas are dry erase boards that are hanging out in areas that I have high traffic in. I can see my schedule every day in a place I know I will look at to remind me of important tasks, appointments, dates, and plans. In fact, I found that the only agenda planners I can use are undated ones because they don’t feel as wasted if I forget to physically write out the plans for the month or week. Just like many neurodivergent people, I had to learn what works for me and what does not -- sometimes at a huge expense. Including thousands of dollars worth of credit card debt, losing grant money for classes I’ve failed, and other things that executive dysfunction has costed me. Unfortunately, we live in a society that counts on benefitting off these mistakes that many of us cannot afford. So I am hoping that this reaches the right people, you take some time to figure out what it is that makes you function better, and learn from my some of my mistakes.

At the Chillona Chingona Club, we know life can get messy — especially when your brain is juggling a lot. Understanding executive functioning is a way to show yourself grace. You’re not lazy or broken; your brain just needs a little more support and balance. Learning how your mind works is the first step toward working with it, not against it. 💪✨