Why I think you should see a therapist

Life is full of inevitable adversity. We all experience change and loss that may not be comfortable or easy to adapt to. As a young adult, we spend a lot of our early 20's untangling the mess of our childhoods. Our brains fully develop by the age of 25. Between the ages of 18 to 25, many of us experience eye opening revelations that set us on a course of self-actualization. What does that entail?

Self-actualization, according to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, is the highest level of psychological development - meaning that as an individual, your highest fundamental need is to discover your full potential and come recognize your skill set, talents and purpose. This is achieved through fulfilling your ego (your "inner you") and body's needs.

Maslow's theory is based on the idea that all human motivation derives from the needs of our egos and body. At the most basic level, Maslow states that humans are motivated by physiological needs. When we're hungry, we eat. When we're tired, we sleep. When we're cold, we grab a blanket. In order to survive in today's society, safety needs such as employment, healthcare, property, and other resources are factors that all impact a human's desire and level of motivation. If my job pays a low wage with little benefits, I may feel demotivated to the point I quit that job, or simply lose it because I do not value it.

People with diagnoses such as bipolar disorder, ADHD and depression may have a hard time meeting their physiological needs and safety needs. I know when I have major depressive episodes, it is hard for me to get out of bed to do anything. Clothes pile up, food sits in the fridge to expire and I either sleep too little or too much. The energy needed to cook a meal, go grocery shopping, shower, and even work was little to non-existent. How can I expect to achieve self-actualization if I didn't have the tools to cope with how I was feeling? I had no desire to establish interpersonal relationships. I had no motivation. I had no purpose. I hated my life and myself. I struggled very hard with suicidal ideation, self-mutilation, and lacked the skills needed to take care of myself. I neglected my health to the point I was scraping rock bottom, with no light in sight.

Last year, I was displaced from my apartment after a break-up and moved back into my parent's house for the first time in 7 years - since I went off to college. I was grieving the loss of my ex, the life we built, the future we planned, and mourning the time with him that I could never get back. Before and after the split, I was extremely mentally ill and raw-dogging life. I went untreated for mental health problems for YEARS - problems that are extremely debilitating - and it was taking a toll on every single facet of my life. My parents, employers, friends, you name it, were all concerned for my overall wellbeing.

At one point, a supervisor of mine called the police on me for a wellness check. I was on the verge of a psychotic episode approaching the end of my shift and communicated with them that I was not in the right state of mind to return to work later that evening. Emergency personnel involuntarily hospitalized me after seeing fresh self-mutilation scars for a psychological evaluation. Later that evening, I was admitted into an inpatient facility not too far from my home. For six days - I had no choice but to focus on what was wrong, where it went wrong, and why I needed to be in a clinical setting to get the help that I needed.

The fact is, I wish it didn't take a hospitalization for me to understand that I needed a lot of help in my recovery process. Beyond the break-up, I had some severe underlying mental health issues that have been present since I was a teen. It didn't matter what kind of goals I set out for myself, all of it was unrealistic if I could not function at a basic level. I would not succeed in school, at home, at work, or in my interpersonal relationships without addressing the issues that were debilitating me. It was that realization that made me seek out services.

The mental illnesses I have are not going to go away anytime soon. In fact, I believe that for the rest of my life, I am going to have to find ways to cope with my diseases. For years I ignored it, neglected it, and avoided it to no avail. At the tender age of 25, I finally committed to getting comprehensive, long-term treatment. I am now at a place where I can unpack all the trauma I've endured in a healthy way to a professional who has tools that can aid me on my recovery. I also have a psychiatrist that monitors my medications to help me have a fighting chance at functioning.

It took a very long time, but I realized that I deserved to have the space held for me to be heard and get better. Best part of all, I can confide in my therapist who is contractually bound to maintain confidentiality, meaning anything discussed in session stays between us. Yes, they are mandated reporters, so no - I can't just tell my therapist I have a dead body in my backyard - BUT, I can safely tell them that my step-dad is getting on my last nerve about where my dog takes a shit in the backyard. I can talk about the awful shit I went through as an undergraduate in college. I can discuss things that my friends and family don't have the emotional or intellectual capacity to handle or help with.

There's no reason you should have to shoulder your burdens alone. You matter so much. Your feelings matter, your dreams matter, what you think - it matters. Having mental health issues, or just problems in general, does not make you "crazy" or a failure. What you experience is real, and the most important thing to remember is that people are out there who want to help. Resources are out there. It can take awhile to receive them - I know first hand. It took a few months for me to get off a waitlist for therapy and psychiatric services, but the wait was well worth it. It was worth it because I am worthy of getting my shit together and being happy. Truth is, you are, too.